Well I quit smoking so whats next?

I quit. 

It has been about 10 months. Cigarettes are stupid, and I am over the moon they are no longer involved in my life.

I am no longer contributing to the death of my skin, my eggs, my lungs, my heart, my brain, my mood... me. 

I beat cigarettes on my own, for myself, and with no crutches other than strength. I had the courage to struggle through the pain of strong cravings, and the sense to pat myself on the back when I did. 

I made it.

What I learned through this process was how strong and motivated I can be. I am not lazy, I am not weak. If I set my mind to it, I can do anything. The best part of it is, it doesn't even have to be hard. Reading back through this blog I realized I made quitting smoking HARD. 

I freaked out.

I let the anger loose.

I wanted to pull my own hair out, and daydream about violence.

I let cigarettes control me.

I let cigarettes ruin my progress. 

I let cigarettes trick me in to continuing to smoke. 

Quitting this time, I did none of the above. I mentally controlled myself. I said no, and I stuck to it.I let myself do the thinking, NOT cigarettes. I did not get angry, I did not freak out.

I did not gain weight, I lost weight. 

So whats next? 

I don't know. It is the first day of the year and I have so many hopes for this coming year. 

1. Lose more weight by being healthier and not obsessive.  

2. No more negative talk towards myself. 

3. Write, read, or draw everyday.

4. Learn to practice patience. 

5. Manage frustration and anger healthier from lack of patience.

6. Give more.

7. Run one mile with out stopping.

8. Take the best care of me I possibly can mentally, emotionally and physically. 

9. Keep succeeding in school, and keep it a TOP priority even when it gets tough.

10. Learn as much as I can about everything that interests me.

I do not want to change myself, I want to end 2013 feeling as if I improved myself. I feel as if I ended 2012 that way. 

This past year I quit smoking. I started a program at school that is going to take me down a career path that is going to be amazing. I lost weight in a healthy way. I grew my business. I started steadily volunteering for a great organization. I ended a complicated relationship and it was ok. I crossed paths with an amazing dog who is now a part of our family. I made some great friends. I watched many life long friends get married, get pregnant, have babies, buy houses and was privileged to celebrate these achievements along side of them. I camped for the first time, and I loved it. I lost my last grandparent and had the pleasure of adding a new sister. 

This past year definitely had its ups and downs. The downs seemed like they would never end, while the ups seemed far to short. Looking back, no, really looking back I realized life may be hard at times, you might want to give up and let the bad consume you but that is up to you. 

This year I want to continue improving myself, and learning from mistakes. I don't ever expect to be flawless, or live a life with out ups and downs. What I do expect is to live more comfortably with my flaws and focus my energy away from the downs and towards the ups as they occur. 

Happy new year.