Yesterday was insane. Definitely not the "relief" I was hoping for...but a good day all in all. I am majorly falling off my wagon... I bought another pack of cigarettes... ultra lights. Not that it makes a difference, I am being a major hypocrite but I am so lost on what to do here...
I am so busy and setting in to motion school starting Jan... which is freaking awesome!! I love how I decide to do something that is insanely hard, RIGHT before I have 6,000 things to do. I have so many dogs the next 2 weeks its like I need to find a new coping mechanism or vice otherwise I will blow my brains out..
But I am trekking on, still using the nicorette as much as I possibly can to hold me away from cigarettes but its becoming increasingly harder.
I forgot that the first few days actually are the easiest.. its after that the hurdles become harder to jump.
I am trying to jump but my fucking legs are tired from catering to all these dogs...
Damnit. I want rehab for smoking. Now. Please....
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